The officer says, 'I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says. 'Christ Officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls. 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be grateful your radar detector went off when it did.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'F..k it woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic 75 pound fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on but I took it off when you pulled me over, so that
I could get my driving license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks,
'WHY DON'T You shut the F..k up??'

The officer looks at the woman and asks. 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

I love this part..... :

'Only when he's pissed.'